What is the definition of Portions Research?

Ah, 'Portions Research' - the culinary equivalent of a scientific study gone awry. Picture this: it's a lab where scientists meticulously measure out the exact amount of garlic, salt, and pepper needed to make a dish, only to find out they accidentally used 7.2 times the recommended portions of paprika in their ground beef stew research. That's 'Portions Research' at its most...unorthodox.

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Now, here's a sentence to put it in perspective: "Portions Research concluded that a slice of pizza should only contain 0.5 portions of cheese, but our latest findings suggest we're eating triple the recommended amount." Talk about an unsettling revelation for anyone who's ever wondered why their pizza seems to defy all logic.